Lessons from Finland (for me)

Me when I don't plan

Confession. . . . I am pretty "Type A". I love to have a plan.  I love to plan for when I can plan.  Often, I am looking on my calendar to schedule when I can have fun. . . . I know this is a fault.  I am not disillusioned. . . So, when I left for Finland, I was anxious to see how planning Robin would fare.  I have looked over our itinerary 5,000 times.  I have found the days that I am super excited about.  I have underlined and highlighted when I will reflect, have fun, run, and have something amazing happen.

Well. . . . as you might expect, things are not working out that way for me.  I am not going to lie.  It's really hard.  I don't always do well when my plans fall through. . . But, here I sit, an UNSCHEDULED reflection day (I also ran, by the way), discovering a little about why I am here and what I am carrying along with me. . . .
Here are some moments of surprise that I could not have planned, but have been more meaningful for that reason.

1 - Finding out that I may be the female version of Shane, Amber's husband. 

2 - Walking across a street with Elias (3.5 years old) in Mikkeli. I wasn't sure if he trusted me, but he reached up to hold my hand as we walked across the street. . . . and he didn't let go when we got to the other side.

   3 - Drinking vodka with Tero. I think we were both pretty hard pressed to make small talk, but an evening of vodka had us opening up about life, religion, and family. We were smiling and laughing and feeling our friendship tightening.

4 - Walking quickly by Sakari's side. I loved his pace. I could feel his excitement in each step, his passion for life. It made me feel a kinship, even when I couldn't speak. I could never stop smiling while matching his pace.

5 - Seeing the photo album of Paivi and Sakari. It was so touching. I can't explain. It made me feel so close to them. It made me see what I want to be when I am in my seventies. It enforced my life desires. It spoke to me without words and I'll never forget it.

6 - A very special and heartfelt conversation with Brian in our little dollhouse room. It made me see how strong he is. It made me see how beautiful he is. I already knew these things, just not to what extent. It made our bond so much stronger. I am honored to know him.

7 - Packing up the room in Kuopio.  Stephanie and I (may be both a little Type A) packed up our room on Saturday.  It felt so good to get it done and relieved both of our stress somewhat.  Then we were able to laugh at ourselves for being such dorks.

8 - Teemu likes AC/DC. When you start singing the words to "You Shook Me All Night Long" (as I am prone to do), he will start singing along with you.

9 - Seppo telling me to rest at the District Conference. He looked at Stephanie and I as he was leaving, and said, "Make sure you rest. I can tell you are getting tired". The fact that he cared enough to pay attention to our well-being moved me. I felt loved and cared for far from home.

10 - The car ride to Kouvola from Kuopio. Jarrko, his daughter, Stephanie, Taylor (a Wisconsin teen on exchange), and me driving down the road. The sun was shining. The snow was almost gone. The conversation was sparse, but nice. The Eels were playing in the CD player. I loved those 3 hours.

11 - Dinner with Jari in Kouvola. We sat at his table eating cheese, salmon, and crackers. We talked about life, relationships, politics, desires, education and children. It was one of the most memorable conversations I have had in Finland thus far.

12 - Rolling over this morning to discover the most beautiful statements taped to the wall next to my bed.  I'd like to meet the teenager who taped this to her bedroom wall.  

13 - Realizing my team has my back. . . and that I have theirs. . . . unconditionally.  They check in with me to see how I am feeling, laugh with me, and would "pull a Helsinki" if needed. . . And I would do the same for them.  I love those people.

So. . . Looking at this list, I realize I did not plan one single item.  Not one.  Maybe I am in Finland to realize that the most meaningful things in life cannot be planned.  Maybe I need to learn that the best things in life just happen. . . . and you have to let them.  

My goal for the next two weeks is to be open to the things that happen. . . . . And not to place to much emphasis on the things that I expect to happen.

Or, at least to try. . . . I am still me, after all.  And it's good to know that when I fall back into my super anxious Type A roots, I have my "vesties" or "blazer babes",  who I have grown to love to set me back in line. . . 

Or else, I'll just buy one of these Finnish stress balls. . . .
It lights up. . . .

Robin